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Bacteria
Jokes
What
do you call an amoeba that crosses the road, jumps in a mud puddle and
crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser.
Why
did the bacteria cross the road?
To
prove he wasn't chicken.
What
did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
Your
gene pool could use a little chlorine.
What
did the male bacteria say to the female bacteria?
Who
needs biology when we have chemistry.
What
is the only thing worse than a mecium?
A
paramecium.
What
is the definition of paramecium?
Two
Latin mice.
Why
did the bacteria make fun of the protozoan?
He
brought toilet paper to the crap game.
What
did the male bacteria say to the female bacteria?
Let's
convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
Why
do bacteria like nitrates so much?
They're
cheaper than day rates.
Why
did the bacteria lie down?
He
was feeling a little flushed.
Why
don't bacteria gamble in Las Vegas?
Because
they believe a good flush always beats a full house.
What
did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
The
problem with your gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
What
did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
Let's
make like an amoeba and split.
What
do you get when you cross a rabbit with an amoeba?
An
amoebit. It can multiply and divide at the same time.
Why
did the amoeba cross the road?
It
was time to split.
Why
did the bacteria fail the math test?
He
thought multiplication was the same as division.
Why
did the bacteria cross the playground?
To
get to the other slide.
Our
favorite bumper sticker:
"Support
bacteria; it is the only culture we have left."
Why
did the paramecium cross the road?
To
get to the diffuser bar in time for happy hour.
Where
do bacteria go to resolve disputes?
The
settling chamber.
Where
do protozoa go to practice long jumping?
The
hopper.
Where
do bacteria go when they are confused?
The
clarifier.
Why
did the paramecium cross the road?
He
was stuck to the chicken's butt.
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